Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
