is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I won't apologize to a one balled man
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize