I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
