i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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