Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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