So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
ttyl tear gas
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
