my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
