I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
