This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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