I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
