I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
