Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
