it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Randomize
