I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Randomize
