come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
