it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
