I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
