see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
