So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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