The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Randomize
