dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
