don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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