She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I just found puke in my bra..
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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