it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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