i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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