if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
