YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
