you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
