Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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