The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
