On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
