4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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