so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
