i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Never joke about your clitoris.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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