piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
