I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
