Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
