I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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