she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
this just has baby written all over it
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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