I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
