i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Shame - the story of my life.
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