Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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