well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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