I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
