in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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