She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
