google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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