I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
