Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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