yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
