I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
