I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
