Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
