i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
