The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
