So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
