You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
