Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
