The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
