I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
