Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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