I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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